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Remix

ULTRAnumb (Metal Revision by Paul Udarov)

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Average: 5 (2 votes)

by Blue Stahli

Hard & Heavy
10
Up Tempo
9
High Energy
9
Dark & Sinister
9
Soaring
4
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

Welcome to what's probably the single best remix (out of 16) of the single most asskicking song of all time. We're serious here.

And this bad boy is only available through the Fixt Store. (It was the product of one of their famous remix contests.)

Incidentally - Fixt has no affiliate program, so we don't even make our usual nickel if you buy. This one is all for you.

Dragula [Hot Rod Herman Remix]

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Average: 3.8 (10 votes)

by Rob Zombie

Hard & Heavy
6
Up Tempo
7
High Energy
7
Dark & Sinister
8
Soaring
2
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

KoRn - Coming Undone v. Blue Stahli - ULTRAnumb (Aggro1 remix)

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Average: 4.5 (16 votes)

by Korn & Blue Stahli

Hard & Heavy
10
Up Tempo
8
High Energy
8
Dark & Sinister
8
Soaring
3
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

Two kick-ass songs that kick ass together. Props to Aggro1 for the asskicking remix.

Plus free to download. Seriously.

[ Also, if you like this, you're seriously going to want to get the original, unadulterated version of Ultranumb. This is because the original is, seriouly, virtually perfect – thus any change to it by definition makes it less good. ]

Body Movin' (Fatboy Slim Remix)

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Average: 4 (2 votes)

by The Beastie Boys

Hard & Heavy
5
Up Tempo
7
High Energy
8
Dark & Sinister
2
Soaring
4
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

The Beasties didn't particularly need the Fat Boy Slim treatment - but we sure benefit. Get your own body moving. Kick-ass.

Doctor Online

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Average: 2 (68 votes)

by Zeromancer

Hard & Heavy
4
Up Tempo
5
High Energy
6
Dark & Sinister
7
Soaring
2
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

Forget the Euro-trashy hair. Great song. (Zeromancer have a couple of other such asskickers, which will make it up here soon.)

Whore - The Big Fat Whore On Dope Remix

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Average: 3.5 (2 votes)

by Dope

Hard & Heavy
7
Up Tempo
5
High Energy
4
Dark & Sinister
7
Soaring
1
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

Rock & Roll (Ultimate Glitter Version 3)

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Average: 3 (1 vote)

by Keoki

Hard & Heavy
5
Up Tempo
6
High Energy
7
Dark & Sinister
3
Soaring
3
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

The Gary Glitter classic . . . all it needed was a little dusting off and remix by mult-culti superstar DJ Keoki.

Happy (Bile Meets The Inbred Brothers Free Hat Pull The Plug Mix )

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Average: 3.7 (3 votes)

by Bile

Hard & Heavy
8
Up Tempo
5
High Energy
8
Dark & Sinister
10
Soaring
4
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.
If you're like us, you'll occasionally discover a track which, for a certain period of time, seems very clearly to be the best workout song of all freaking time. Everything else, past and present, falls well short. Of course, eventually, another 'best workout song of all time' comes along and displaces it. But, still, those songs which at one point held that title make up an immortal cadre. Here's one of the immortals for you: big, angry, dark, thickly layered, and catchy as hell.

Bale Out

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Average: 3.5 (2 votes)

by RevoLucian

Hard & Heavy
5
Up Tempo
6
High Energy
6
Dark & Sinister
4
Soaring
2
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

So, as with RevoLucian's earlier masterpiece, Fuck It, the man shows a very rare gift for turning infantile outburts into art - extremely catchy, danceable, asskicking art, in this case. Grab this track for free and give yourself a big smile (and not a little boost) on your workout.

Fuck It

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Average: 3.8 (4 votes)

by RevoLucian

Hard & Heavy
3
Up Tempo
6
High Energy
6
Dark & Sinister
6
Soaring
2
Get the Flash Player to preview this asskicking song.

This probably requires a little explanation. A while back American TV journalist Bill Reilly had a total meltdown that was captured on camera. Along came composer and producer RevoLucian - who has evinced this amazing talent for turning profanity into music. This is the very amusing and danceable result . . . but Christian Bale's on-set meltdown, and RevoLucian's finest moment, were just around the corner . . .